The sky was dark, blanketed by the gathered vapor. The pressure had given way and you feel the first heavy drop on your head. You didn't hear the thunder over the buds muting your ears, but the droplets made you look up. You smile and close your eyes, removing your hood; the pressure lifting from you as if mirroring the dropping sky. There is a flash and you see the first lighting strike. This time you hear the thunder a few beats later. After seeing the lightning you begin to run, you're not sure why, but it makes you feel free, so you begin to run faster. Another strike, this time a low roar quickly following, almost in time with the music in your ears. After reaching the top of a hill you decide to rest, taking a few seconds to feel the pouring rain. Your heart is beating in time with the music and you have a sudden rush, you can feel the crescendo building and a pressure in yourself ready to be released. You almost feel as though you are flying. Another flash, but this time there is no delay before the tremendous crack. The music has stopped and your heart stops keeping time; stopping completely. Your body becomes limp and collapses on itself in the wet grass. Your eyes stare blankly, unmoving, motionless, and still; your consciousness not yet gone, but not in place. You watch your numb body as it lies still. Still since the instant the bright light hit you. In the same instant, death took you.
You feel the pressure begin to return, a silent crescendo builds and once again you feel as though you are flying. You are ready to soar.
One final flash strikes, silhouetting the hill's lonesome tree, and the pressure is gone.
Suddenly you hear music playing, quietly, but clear. A solid beat. Your tingling toes and fingers keep beat. You turn your head towards the sky as it divides to reveal the sun.
And you can't help but smile.
4 comments:
Were you trying to make music a metaphor for being alive? Because it would be a pretty cool metaphor.
This is the only criticism: if you're struck by lightning wouldn't your walkman/mp3 player be fried?
I like it! It's very interesting... A good short story.
Any motive you had for writing this?
Well, I got the idea while driving somewhere in a storm. I saw lightning which made me think of the fact it never strikes in the same place twice. Basically I thought, what if it did? Kills the guy and then brings him back to life like a difibulator(but that's open to interpretation[p.s. how do you spell this?]). I got the idea of the heart keeping in time time with the beat when I started writing and decided to continue the metaphor.
And TA-DA!
And the mp3 player thing?... Well, yeah. I guuuess I could either change it so it's an echo of the music he was listining to, or just say the second strike brought it back too.
Yeah, I guess if the second shock of lightning brought "you" back to life, it would also bring "your" mp3 player back. At least within the context of the story it's forgivable.
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