shithy storhy

Alfred was a dude with a tuxedo. He was a cool dude and didn't afraid of anything. One morning he was fixing himself a meal and he happened to see some pure rabblerousers outside, dancing and causing trouble for his neighbors. Alfred decided it was time to do something with his life, so he fetched his doublebarreled shotgun and stepped out to deal with them.

(I apologize for what follows. It was a vain attempt to write 750 words in under an hour...)